Really?

While I agree that the materialism of Christmas has gotten out of hand, this is too much. It seems as if these people are against everything. They are hatemongers. So we're to take from this that: our soldiers are gay evil people, Obama is gay, and all Priests are pedophiles.

My first reaction to seeing this video was probably the reaction they wanted to convey. Disgust. But my disgust was in the form of wanting to hose the crowd down with a machine gun like zombies. But then I feel sadness for the children in the video who will grow up with this hatred being taught to them.

If there is a God, I'm sure he is ashamed of these people.

Getting a diagnosis

At the moment I work in food service. A usual job making sandwiches and expresso drinks. So as you can probably figure out, I don't make much money. And therefor I also don't have good health insurance. At the moment I have none at all because of employer issues and not relating the right numbers to me. But that's another rant in and of itself.

The issue at the moment is the fact that I have a "lady parts" issue and I'm having trouble getting the correct diagnosis. I have had a problem with painful intercourse for almost ten years now. I have spoken to several nurses, doctors and gynocologists about it. Up until the recent gyno, they've all been stumped and seemed to blame me for the pain. Saying that perhaps it was "a psychological issue." It is not. It's a physical issue. And no matter how many times I told them, they wouldn't listen.

This past year I visited a gynocologist at the local healthcare clinic. Since I don't have insurance, my only real option is the clinic, or find a way to pay for expensive doctor visits on my own.

The Gyno listened to me, then did a pelvic exam. After poking around with a Qtip, and noticing the apparent pain on my face, she announced that I had Vulvodynia! Finally a diagnosis. So she prescribed lidocaine to numb the area for intercourse and sent me on my way. After researching and studying about this illness, I noticed something. It didn't sound like me. Vulvodynia was a condition that caused pain all the time, mine was only during penetration. I found the other, closely related illness, Vulvar Vestibulitis. It fits my symptoms. I would love to start treatments specifically for it.

The problem is, I'd have to go back and tell the Gyno that I believe she's wrong. I know that will be an issue and she may argue with me over it.

It took me forever just to get this diagnosis. Now I have to go back and do it again?

Nostalgia

My First Vibrator

The Galaxy vibe Jupiter was my first vibrator. At the age of 18, my friend Rachel and I convinced my boyfriend at the time to take us to the adult bookstore for fun. I believe the thought of two girls browsing sex toys convinced him to offer up the dare that we both had to pick out a toy and he would purchase it. But he made the stipulation that it had to be something we would actually use, not something silly.

Rachel and I went to work, browsing the long wall of toys that we had never really seen in person before. This was our first trip to an adult bookstore and to be honest we probably spent 2 hours going up and down the isles. There were big ones, small ones, fat ones, and plain scary toys. Then we found some soft purple vibrators. They weren't horribly girly, no pictures of butterflies or pink vibrators were allowed.

I chose the Jupiter, and my friend chose the Uranus. And believe me, we made a lot of jokes about the Uranus. The cashier put batteries in both to show us that they did indeed vibrate. To which we giggled in delight and my boyfriend seemed slightly embarrassed to be around us.

On the drive home, we broke our new vibrators out and annoyed my then boyfriend as we had "lightsaber" battles in between the front and back seat.

The Jupiter was a good, faithful, first vibrator. The soft material felt nice and the vibrations were good for a beginner. I found the Jupiter to be better for clitoral play. I don't think I would purchase a vibrator with this sort of jelly outer again.

The outside of the vibrator sleeve is in ripples, which actually made penetration slightly uncomfortable. It felt like I was "juicing" myself with a long citrus juicer. To some this may be an enjoyable feeling, but personally I did not like this effect one bit.

The material was soft, but it tended to be the sort of material that easily catches lint. To truly clean the Jupiter it is best to soap up, rinse well and then leave out to air dry. Understandably some people don't have the option of just laying their vibrators on the bathroom counter to air dry. And the Jupiter itself wasn't exactly the most elegant to display on your countertop.

I retired my first vibrator after 7 years in search for a nicer insertable vibrator. But I have to admit that my faithful, first vibrator was still going strong. I have yet to find an insertable vibrator that I really like. Especially with my condition of having Vulvar Vestibulitis.

The Heterosexual Couples Guide to Strap-on Sex

This should have been the working title of Violet Blue's book, The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Strap-on Sex. Violet Blue’s book is more heterosexual focused as I expected a book about strap-on sex to be. I would prefer a book about strap-on sex to be less focused on explaining how my boyfriend is not homosexual because he enjoys anal penetration. I felt that the second chapter was a little too insistent on this information. Because actually, my fiancé and I are both bisexual. So we fit in between the typical heterosexual relationship and something a little more homosexual. Anal penetration is something that my fiancé enjoyed in sex with men. We have decided on a monogamous relationship and so strap-on sex would be a good compromise for us both. He receives a sexual act that he enjoys, but that I don’t have the physical equipment for. I suffer from vulvodynia, which makes it painful to have normal intercourse. Because of this my sex drive has plummeted and this could be a good outlet to allow me to give him pleasure without pain. I chose to review this book because purchasing a strap-on dildo is something we have both been interested in.

The explanation of the penis and it’s components became slightly monotonous to me. But this may be from reading quite a few books on sex and the physical characteristics of the male and female anatomy. I did however enjoy the explanation about the mechanics of the orgasm in a male body with emphasis on how an orgasm effects the prostate and anus.

In Chapter 8 it becomes more of the how-to guide that I expected, with good information on foreplay and techniques to get your partner ready for “pegging” as she term used for strap-on penetration. I enjoyed Violet Blue’s descriptive wording and explanation. Chapter 10 involves more information on purchasing the right harness and dildo and describes how the harness itself should fit on the female frame.

But I was put off by one of the fantasies given as an example: “Gender play where you reverse gender roles and he becomes a female character and has to “learn the ropes” as a woman. Perhaps I am looking too much into this phrasing of words, but the implication seems slightly sinister.

In between chapters there were erotic stories using strap-on sexual encounters as the theme. Personally I wasn’t as enamored of these stories. The first one including a man being “pegged” in roller skates in their garage seemed slightly confusing and less fluid than I like my erotica to be.

While The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex has it’s informative and interesting points, I believe it could have been scaled down to a shorter version. Perhaps someone can rewrite this book to be a little less heterosexual happy and focus on different gender identity and include gay and lesbian couples a little more.

Keith Olbermann on Prop 8

A New Day

Last night's victory for Barack Obama has left me with a warm feeling that for once our country might be moving forward. The election has consumed my thoughts for quite some time now, and the anxiety that has come with that. So I took a sigh of relief seeing Obama's name coming up while I obsessively watched MSNC on the television, while checking the tickers on their website, along with CNN in another tab. When they showed the excitement of different crowds predicting his win, I felt such an excitement.

One image that stood out was of an African American woman down on her knees in tears. I made me tear up as well. This is such a big victory for African American people. From our horrible past, to Barack Obama becoming our 44th President. I've never felt more emotional than with this election.

There were also big wins and depressing losses in ballot measures. For animal rights we have gained Prop 2 which gives farm animals more humane treatment. And in Mass, dog tracks have been forced to shut down and the torture of greyhounds in the name of sport will be put to an end.

But the losses in Arkansas, Arizona and Florida are a harsh blow. The verdict is still out for Prop 8 in California, but at the moment it is not looking good. The Arkansas ban on gay and lesbian parents adopting or fostering children who need homes, baffles me. It also gives me a head's up to a state I will never be a part of. Both Arizona and Florida will be banning gay marriage. A sad day for human rights.

So I begin this new day with a mixture of anger, excitement, sadness, and hope